Damaged
by Reira Redemption
Summary: Just because she's damaged doesn't mean she can't love... Changed from one-shot, may only be a handful of chapters... *Potential Suicide*
1. Chapter 1

She couldn't understand why he had left her. Why she had to suffer because she cared about him, them so much. She was hurting inside and nothing drowned the pain.

She collapsed, sobbing against her bed after a cold shower. She wanted to tear her heart out, the break something, so the pain in her heart would be drowned out. Her body was racked with sobs and she was clutching her stomach, even vomiting would help distract her from the pain.

She wanted something, anything to help. Drinking, cutting, smoking, something to help with the pain.

Tears were her only companion in the months that he was away and as every day rolled along she realized her love for him wouldn't leave, it wasn't going anywhere nor was her compassion for his family. She wanted them all back, but especially him… She couldn't help how much it hurt, nothing she did even doused the pain, so she sat in it. She let it consume her until there wasn't anything left of her heart… And finally when she couldn't stand the pain anymore, she took her father's pistol, placed is into her mouth and pulled the trigger, the slightest smile at the corner of her lips as she fell back onto the tiled kitchen floor, blood splattering.

XxX

He wasn't fast enough to stop her from pulling the trigger, he caught her limp, bloody body. He wished he had been here only a moment sooner, that Alice had told him a minute earlier about her vision.

Dry sobs began to rack his body, he desperately bit his fangs into her neck, pumping his venom into her blood stream. He set her body down, biting her everywhere he could reach as he tossed the gun away.

It took several minutes for the venom to take effect, but he finally breathed a sigh of relief as she began to twitch and scream. He hadn't wanted to move her but Charlie would be home soon.

Blood was across his forehead, making blonde hair stick to his skin. Jasper lifted Bella off the floor and rushed out the back door towards the mansion.

_Just because she's damaged, doesn't mean she can't love. _

**XxXxX**

**Just in a really dark place, hope someone can relate...**


	2. Chapter 2

She couldn't breathe; air was sucked out of her lungs, her heart suddenly stopping. Bella couldn't scream, she couldn't move and everything aspect of her being that was conscious told her to bolt.

Jasper was hyper aware to everything that was going on with Bella, sensing her waryness, her fear; he heard her final breath leave her lungs as her heart took its last beat. Her body was still, the blood from her clothes long dried as she laid silently with her eyes closed.

Tic.

Toc.

Tic.

Toc.

Tic.

Toc.

Tic.

Her eyes fluttered open, bright red rubies jumping from object to object within Jaspers study. He was seated beside her bed, waiting anxiously for her to wake up.

Bella noticed him, slowly she sat up, her eyes roaming over her arms and clothes. She noted the blood as she went, seeing how her skin looked pale and had a slight sheen to it. She knew Jasper, a memory in the back of her mind triggered that he was safe to be around. She was suddenly standing in front of the mirror, staring at her immortal beauty.

"I thought I would be dead…" Her voice was a sweet caress of sing songy bells. It startled her to know that the sound came from her own mouth.

"I saved you." Jasper was slowly making his way across the room towards Bella, watching as she turned to meet Jasper's burned orange eyes, gasping softly.

"You changed me?" He nodded, slowly offering her a hand. She looked at it, somewhat perplexed as her fingers slowly skimmed over his palm, resting her hand in his.

"You're beautiful."

Bella remained quiet, glancing back at herself, her eyes beginning to look around the room. Her brows pressed together as she realized she'd never been in this room, but it had touches of Esme and that was how she knew she was in the manor.

"You came back."

"Alice had a vision of … the kitchen." Bella understood. She couldn't remember too much about her human life, but she could remember her family, the home she once lived in; the reason why she tried to kill herself.

"I … Why?" Her eyes were locked with his, the brilliant red suddenly pitch black with sorrow. Being at a loss for words, Jasper shakes his head slightly, feeling Bella's distress at him reviving her.

"Because… I couldn't… I just couldn't darlin'."


	3. Chapter 3

Bella couldn't stand it, it hurt too much; this depression followed her into her immortal life and though Jasper was reaching out to her, she blocked him out with her shield; locked herself away and cried.

She hated herself, she hated this new life; she still wished she was dead. She had no more desires to live, to see the world outside or experience the amazing gift Jasper had to offer her and despite the fact that she wanted to respond to him, she refused to let herself do so.

Bella held onto the fear of being abandoned again after falling in love once more with the Cullens, she rather be alone, distant. She didn't care what that meant for her in this new, long, long life of hers, she just shut everyone out.

At some point, Bella lost track of time, she was so thirsty, the burning in her throat was so intense she could hardly stand it. Just when she was ready to jump out the window, bottle of fresh blood were rolled into the two inch crack that her door was able to open, the shield wouldn't allow much more space.

She quickly gulped them down and stared at the door. Bella wondered why Jasper bothered to bring her anything at all; she was being so… stand off ish. She sighed a little and let her shield drop; as expected Jasper stepped into the room, a little smile on his face.

"Hey, there Darlin'. You've been in here a long time."

"How long?" Bella's head tilted in a curious manner, she could still feel the guilt, rage, pain and agony pumping through her dead heart, but it was now the first time she felt anything other than those main emotions and it actually felt nice.

"Four months and ten days, honey. Why don't you come out now?"


End file.
